Anna Quindlen, columnist for Newsweek writes to the 2004 graduates.

"I'm so sorry. I look at all of you and realize that, for many, life has been a relentless treadmill since you entered preschool at the age of 2."

I never attended preschool. I don't think it even existed when I was a child. I do admit that I sent both of my children to preschool but it was at age Four, for 2 1/2 hours, two days per week.

"You all will live longer than any generation in history, yet you were kicked into high gear earlier as well. How exhausted you must be. Your college applications look like the resumes for midlevel executives. We boomer moms and dads had high expectations, ratcheted up by what the more honest of us must admit was something akin to competitive parenting. Soccer leagues. Language programs. Even summer camps that concentrate on college prep instead of sailing."

I admit that my sophomore daughter is already looking at colleges and careers. I have even suggested that she start to write down her accomplishments. As parents, my husband and I are very intentional about avoiding programs or opportunities that place too much value on acceleration and specialization.

"To the members of the class of 2004: putting a stop to this treadmill is like disarmament. Who dares to go first? A generation ago your parents, as a group, were known for wanting to give peace a chance in the world. Somehow we have raised a group that wants only a little peace in their own frantic lives. But peace is not what you see in the immediate future, for the world, for this nation or for yourselves. Instead, what stretches before you looks like a version of "Survivor" in street clothes. Find the job. Find the mate. Scale the ladder. Have the baby. Make the deal. Make the birthday cake. The gym, the Gap, the lover, the decor, the cuisine. Who will win the contest? Perhaps it will be those of you brave enough to stop moving."

Are we bad parents because we encourage our children to succeed? No. We can however, lose focus. Finding the right balance of achievements, encouragement, and simple down time can be challenging. Here too, I will admit, that I AM "brave enough to stop moving". I am willing to say NO to extra activities and commitments because . . . . . it brings peace into my families life.

See the full May 17 issue story.

Posted by Susan at 5/13/2004 09:31:06 AM | Link

 
TV Turn Off week is past, but our family has rarely turned it on since. If the TV is still center stage in your home, put it in a place that takes some effort to reach.

When the children were younger, TV Turn Off week initiated the season of “neighborhood night games” (capture the flag, kick the can, hide and seek, etc.). We have the perfect yard, full of good, safe hiding places and centered among the neighbors. At the beginning of “night games” season, my children knocked on doors of the neighboring children (calling on the telephone was forbidden!), asking if they could play night games tonight. Some hadn’t finished the evening meal, and some were away playing on their organized athletic teams. It took a few evenings to get the rhythm going. Some nights it was a game of "4 square" in our driveway until one by one, enough kids showed up in our yard for a more adventurous game of "capture the flag". From the prodding of the children, some families became more intentional with their dinner hour, and some children were more responsible with doing homework earlier in the day, so that when they returned home from team play, they could join in on the “neighborhood night games”.

I always enjoyed hearing the laughter outside or the boundary discussions. It isn’t often that kids can make their own rules! I encourage you all to make your yard a welcome and safe place for neighborhood games this Spring and Summer. You may have to help in “organizing” the “unofficial” play, but you will soon find it may become a neighborhood ritual!

Posted by Susan at 5/06/2004 09:59:38 AM | Link

 
The Globe and Mail Newspaper, Quebec, Canada survey of 648 parents found that, in general, parents see children today as overscheduled. “71 per cent said parents don't allow their children enough time to be kids, but only 28 per cent agreed that they had enrolled their children in too many activities. “

Summer is approaching. By now many of us already have the summer planned with camps, athletic programs, vacations etc. Be sure to take time to just relax.

Go to our Links page, check out articles under Family Decision Month or Take a Quiz: Is Your Child Overscheduled?

Posted by Susan at 5/03/2004 04:28:59 PM | Link